Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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