Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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