We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
