She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
