The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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