what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
