apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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