I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
