just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
