My friends, they love my intelligence
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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