she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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