I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
