You're so nebulous sometimes
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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