I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
