I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize