Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Terrible idea I love it
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize