I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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