can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
