Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
