So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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