I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I still have a little drunk in my system
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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