i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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