Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
