big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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