I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
