Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
ttyl tear gas
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize