i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
