The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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