PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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