i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
