Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.

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  (904): I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom. http://tfl.nu/lxr2
  Replies (18) Good night (1498) Bad night (919)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat

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  (412): I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat http://tfl.nu/4f5y
  Replies (6) Good night (3042) Bad night (775)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.

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  (703): Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience. http://tfl.nu/jxin
  Replies (73) Good night (4490) Bad night (6584)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing

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  (808): for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing http://tfl.nu/0vur
  Replies (14) Good night (790) Bad night (5158)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.

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  (941): Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low. http://tfl.nu/swva
  Replies (33) Good night (1063) Bad night (6592)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho

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  (519): your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho http://tfl.nu/j100
  Replies (3) Good night (3028) Bad night (1366)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.

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  (605): And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same. http://tfl.nu/7gpg
  Replies (6) Good night (1203) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking

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  (503): ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking http://tfl.nu/1308
  Replies (6) Good night (1490) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"

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  (314): Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do" http://tfl.nu/rrgq
  Replies (12) Good night (2757) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.

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  (765): I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals. http://tfl.nu/d4lh
  Replies (0) Good night (925) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Is this a considering it or regretting it text?

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.

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  (318): My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter (504): Is this a considering it or regretting it text? (318): I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me. http://tfl.nu/wpzn
  Replies (3) Good night (537) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?

  (760): View more from California

  The other one.

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  (760): Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée? (760): The other one. http://tfl.nu/3ull
  Replies (4) Good night (363) Bad night (591)
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  (714): View more from California

  I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.

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  (714): I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like. http://tfl.nu/0ztf
  Replies (0) Good night (601) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life

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  (610): Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life http://tfl.nu/zhdb
  Replies (2) Good night (456) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...

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  (775): You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night... http://tfl.nu/sw69
  Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (456)

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