Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was

(734): View more from Michigan

you're 26.

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(205): View more from Alabama

it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........

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(323): View more from California

I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Why do you think it's a no-pants party?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.

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(530): View more from California

I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.

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