Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.

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  (734): You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia. http://tfl.nu/z7s6
  Replies (15) Good night (1237) Bad night (1413)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min

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  (225): Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min http://tfl.nu/fx8x
  Replies (21) Good night (4334) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!

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  (845): I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/6xbj
  Replies (42) Good night (2468) Bad night (6969)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.

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  (907): started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night. http://tfl.nu/6i6d
  Replies (20) Good night (1129) Bad night (5014)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this

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  (705): Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this http://tfl.nu/08vw
  Replies (40) Good night (1799) Bad night (6513)
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  (518): View more from New York

  College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.

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  (518): College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never. http://tfl.nu/pxty
  Replies (12) Good night (4002) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.

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  (804): Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina. http://tfl.nu/ugq6
  Replies (14) Good night (3215) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now

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  (207): It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now http://tfl.nu/zpim
  Replies (18) Good night (2139) Bad night (509)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?

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  (775): Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear? http://tfl.nu/c8pp
  Replies (2) Good night (1213) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.

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  (443): I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon. http://tfl.nu/q1re
  Replies (4) Good night (1008) Bad night (674)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom

  (347): View more from New York

  I can't even drink.

  (646): View more from New York

  The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.

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  (646): Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom (347): I can't even drink. (646): The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples. http://tfl.nu/1cwa
  Replies (10) Good night (1904) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you

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  (219): You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you http://tfl.nu/zonx
  Replies (8) Good night (1202) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.

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  (218): So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/i9rc
  Replies (5) Good night (395) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.

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  (937): Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though. http://tfl.nu/d5b6
  Replies (0) Good night (411) Bad night (175)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing

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  (518): I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing http://tfl.nu/06p1
  Replies (3) Good night (621) Bad night (227)

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