Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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