Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.

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  (401): Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex. http://tfl.nu/0okh
  Replies (22) Good night (726) Bad night (5062)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.

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  (480): Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas. http://tfl.nu/ugcx
  Replies (9) Good night (3869) Bad night (970)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.

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  (863): If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat. http://tfl.nu/9rvo
  Replies (21) Good night (985) Bad night (3696)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style

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  (567): i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style http://tfl.nu/1r2g
  Replies (24) Good night (1754) Bad night (4922)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.

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  (313): So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale. http://tfl.nu/y4yj
  Replies (49) Good night (21136) Bad night (1092)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.

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  (570): Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today. http://tfl.nu/c736
  Replies (5) Good night (1064) Bad night (3264)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell

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  (905): her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell http://tfl.nu/gvzv
  Replies (11) Good night (1253) Bad night (5053)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night

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  (317): well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night http://tfl.nu/od6j
  Replies (19) Good night (1639) Bad night (6357)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore

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  (516): He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore http://tfl.nu/31xs
  Replies (7) Good night (1068) Bad night (3509)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  She's never allowed to turn 21 again

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  (702): She's never allowed to turn 21 again http://tfl.nu/eyqp
  Replies (9) Good night (4688) Bad night (937)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??

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  (250): How do you get a black eye playing beer pong?? http://tfl.nu/dfu2
  Replies (9) Good night (2153) Bad night (991)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.

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  (617): Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home. http://tfl.nu/hrqw
  Replies (6) Good night (1592) Bad night (597)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!

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  (308): Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable! http://tfl.nu/qvqx
  Replies (6) Good night (882) Bad night (337)
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  (408): View more from California

  I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not

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  (408): I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not http://tfl.nu/5y8f
  Replies (2) Good night (588) Bad night (271)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me

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  (607): Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me http://tfl.nu/qp3z
  Replies (2) Good night (691) Bad night (357)

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