Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.