That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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