i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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