2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
