I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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