its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS