THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
