Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
