No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You smell like stripper and shame
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
