I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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