he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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