these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize