for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
