I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
