you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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