he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
