i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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