summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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