garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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