my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
