You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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