I'm really into asian looking animals
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
