I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
