when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Randomize
