there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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