Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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