Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
