Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
