i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
