i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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