KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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