Are we in a gay sports bar?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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