come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
