is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
wanna go halves on a baby?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
